Will Karate Make Girls “Bossy"?

 in Medford - Xtreme Ninja Martial Arts Center

Some parents may worry that if their girl get’s good at karate, she will become “bossy”. They may fear that in a higher ranked position, the authority will get to girls head and they may start to enjoy giving people orders and become arrogant, domineering and not liked. 

 

This seems to be a common concern. Personally, I have heard many adults (my parents included) make disapproving comments about girls with power being bossy, or predicting a girl will become bossy if she get’s any better at her sport/job/activity. 

 

While it is true there are a few girls who could improve their treatment of others, that can be said of anyone, boys included. 

 

I have to say this topic is a concerning one, and has negatively effected me personally growing up.

 

But back to the dojo! 

 

 

About girls taking karate: one thing you can rest assured is that karate’s principles will teach your daughters how to be strong, disciplined yet compassionate people. And you yourself can help shape your girl in becoming an inspiring, well rounded leader. You can use the resources below for help! 

 

 

And here is another idea: limit, or even eliminate, the word “bossy” your vocabulary (as the Ban Bossy campaign suggests) Bossy can be a negative, overarching label, but by avoiding the word you can instead change your focus. Instead of calling a girl “bossy”, you could see her as “assertive and confidant enough to speak her mind”. All important traits for succeeding in our fast paced world.

 

I am nearly a junior in college and I struggled with anxiety over being labeled “bossy” myself. I am a ambitious, creative and practical person, and I like to see good results happen on time. However, whenever I work on group projects in school, I find myself starting, or ending, with a disclaimer or apology. “This may be wrong but…I am really sorry to ask this but I need you to…I don’t really like it, I am really sorry”. Saying these things, I put myself down, and this allows other people to put me down as well. I did not notice this was a habit until I started writing this article. 

 

And when I try to correct it, I get an imitate rush of fear that people will dislike and disrespect me. Having grown up with mean, “bossy” leader girls in the media, I still have to remind myself that it is ok to disagree, and if someone is unhappy about that, the blame is not all on meThis is something I have only just realized, and there are many other girls my age who struggle with this as well.

 

 

 

Through karate and martial arts, girls can have opportunities to challenge themselves and become leaders  

So let’s take a step back and encourage girls to become strong. They may make a few mistakes along the way, but girls are human. Humans with so much potential! 


Resources: 

http://banbossy.com/ -- about "banning" bossy 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2017/05/20/compassionate-leadership/#484a93a75df9  -- article about compassionate leadership 

Article and photos by E-tak M

 



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